On the Single Life

Recently, I stumbled upon these blog posts, written by a Christian blogger about being single and appreciating time that you have in this awkward transition between teen hood and adulthood. Personally, I’ve been trying to fill my time with things that make me happy – growing in my walk with God, going to college, working, and doing creative projects – and focusing on becoming the lady that I want my future husband to want. 

Which is difficult. 

For so much of my life, I’ve been focused on what i want my future hubby to be – and believe me, I still secretly harbor a ‘wish list’. But with time, I discovered most of my crushes had different physical traits – but a few non-physical traits in common. Like, when guys aren’t arrogant about their faith, but have a strong relationship with God….now that’s pretty attractive! Or when a guy understands my love for science, and understands my need to work in/around it….and yeah. 

But, what would my ideal guy want in me? A intelligent girl? Someone who has attempted to overcome social anxiety and shyness? A classy lady who loves God as much as he does? I already know that I won’t have a typical fairy-tale. (I’m down for an extremely nerdy and awkward one thought!) Instead of sitting, waiting, and wishing, I’ve been soul-searching and trying let God shape me into someone better. At least that’s the plan. 

Here are those blog posts: 

You’re Under Arrest!!!

Don’t Pre-qualify Your Lead

Can’t Find Bo, Dave, or Jo

Questions: 

  1. What do you want your special someone to want in you?
  2. If you could travel back in time, what Bible character would you want a relationship with?
  3. Who did they end up marrying?
  4. What modern parallels could you see them in today? 

(Feel free to comment with answers!) 

Your sister in Christ, 

– Hannah

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One thought on “On the Single Life

  1. Lydia M says:

    Excellent thoughts, Hannah, and thoughts I’ve been contemplating myself (especially seeing so many friends get married as they close the chapter of their lives entitled “college”). And I’ve been thinking a lot about the kind of woman I am in this moment, as a single, that I want to become in order to get the “right one”.

    And I’ve come to the conclusion that I already have the “right one”. I think we have watered the phrase “married to Jesus” down to such a joke that it has diluted its sincerity. Everyone who is in Christ, men included, are the bride of Christ. We are God’s women, we are the people He has come to save. From death. We have already met our Knight in Shining Armor, we just haven’t come face to face with Him yet.

    So I am trying not to focus on getting the “right” guy. I shouldn’t be worrying about that if I am worrying about becoming the right bride for Christ, mirroring my Savior and Redeemer in my actions and thoughts, finding contentment in the love and grace He has provided me. I don’t know if there is a man out there for me, and sometimes I am worried that I truly am single for life, but that shouldn’t matter. Paul himself said that it is better to be single in order to more easily do the work of God. I do not have to worry about making time for another relationship in my life because the one I have right now is with me in every moment, leading me and guiding me, and loving me in my bad times. And I can’t guarantee that a man is going to love me in my bad times.

    Perhaps I’ve clung to this because my parents are in a state of maybe not loving each other anymore (which, if we look at love as an action, they don’t). My dad doesn’t even live in the house (mostly for work reasons) and I don’t see the storybook relationship in my life. I’ve seen what happens when we rely on human love, and I don’t know where life is going to lead me if I do get married. I certainly will put my 100% in, but I am one person.

    But God puts His 100% in every time He loves me, and His all makes my look pathetic. So I am trying to find contentment in my singleness, and it’s something that the church makes very hard for singles to find.

    But of course I am not a dummy, I do have in mind what a godly man looks like, and I know that God has given me the discernment to realize what is healthy and what isn’t (whether I choose to use it is a completely different story).

    So in answer, now, to your questions:

    What do you want your special someone to want in you?:
    Hopefully it has nothing to do with me being non-emotional because I am disqualified! Ha!! Just kidding. I would hope that I am a person who is fair and loving to people, that I show kindness and patience even with annoying people. That I am encouraging and supportive as a helpmeet, and that I am willing to love in action in all circumstances. That I work hard, that I want to honor God, and that I am outgoing and friendly and talkative, and will talk to anything that moves, and is totally okay with that! (It’s hard to find guys that put up with chatty girls, believe me)

    If you could travel back in time, what Bible character would you want a relationship with? I have never given this thorough thought. Uhm…Joseph, Jesus’ father. Because he had every right to just put Mary away and stone her when things were looking hairy. I am sure he had all the pressure in the world to deal with her. And on top of that, he took on all that humiliation that came with having a pregnant fiancee, as people assumed the two of them had slept together before their actual marriage. He stood by Mary and trusted her because God told him to. Joseph let people think whatever they wanted to of him because he was too busy obeying God to worry about it. I am sure he cared for the pregnant Mary as the two made their long journey to Bethlehem. He protected his family by bringing them to Egypt when the time was right. I don’t know, I just think Joseph was a pretty stand up guy who gets overshadowed by Mary because she bore Jesus, but Joe still did a heck of a lot.

    Who did they end up marrying? Mary, the Mother of Jesus. Which, we should all be clear is no where near what I could ever aim to be. Heavens no!

    What modern parallels could you see them in today? I guess someone who is willing to follow God even when it makes them look bad in society’s eyes. Someone that truly cares and works hard for his family, who trusts his wife and prays before making decisions. A guy that provides and shields. A man who listens for the voice of the Lord at all times and will immediately obey when given a command. And probably a quiet guy. I mean, I think Joseph would be quiet. And artsy, since he made things out of wood? That’s probably a stretch….

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